Playing with Everything You've Got

I really enjoy a good live music performance. And they're often good when someone is doing something they love. It's always easy to spot. You can see it and hear it. And if they're really good, you can feel it.

In college I was in two bands. One was super short-lived but we were the first band named after an antiquated medical issue to ever play on campus. So we had that going for us. We only played cover songs and we only played for others. And the other band... well we only played for ourselves. We actually recorded a CD, almost entirely of original songs. We jammed the loudest when we were pretty sure no one else was around. In fact, one day someone heard us through a door, knocked and told us she didn't even know any of us played instruments or sang but she really liked our sound and we should play in a showcase she was planning. We'd never considered exiting the cocoon of safety before.

It was in that shy, closed-door band that I wrote my first whole song. I say whole because I used to make up words for songs all the time to entertain myself and others. And there was actually a time before that I was supposed to compose an instrumental for a piano recital. I somehow convinced my teacher to make an exception and let me perform music from the original Star Wars trilogy instead. But with that band I wrote chords for the guitar, improvised something on the piano (and dictated it by yelling out what I just did as I was playing). There were even lyrics and backup singers.

Since that band ended, the song hasn't been played live. Every once in a while, it floats into my consciousness though. I'm reminded of how weird, yet good-feeling it is to have music of your own - something similar (yet different) than my photos. I remember what it feels like to go all in and just play with everything you've got.

And when I recognize that in another musician, I can't help but smile.